Ftm in GirlGuiding

I’ve been a Brownie, I’ve been a Guides, I am in Senior Section and I am a Young Leader. I have yet to actually tell them that I am not a girl. Despite having had my name legally changed for about a year now. Oops.

I guess it’ll look funny to people, a boy in Guides. My mum wouldn’t let me be a Scout because I wouldn’t have coped (and I really wouldn’t have coped, I was a nervous wreck), so I became a Guide. 

We write on all my forms and stuff “Lu” and when talking about me around them my mum just uses they pronouns or my name. I don’t know why I dont want to quit Guides… It’s more that I don’t want to be kicked out…

I’ve checked with GirlGuiding UK and they say it’s fine for me to be in Guides, just I’d probably feel more comfortable in Scouts because in Guides the language is very gendered. I just try to ignore the gendered words or pretend they aren’t including me in it.

I’m a bit worried about being kicked out because one of the leaders is very… Christian in a bad way….closed minded… And she hates anything lgbt… I don’t want to be kicked out because it would be embarrasing…

I don’t understand why I don’t want to quit.
Eeurgh.

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