I hate my height

I’m 5ft 8in. I know that isn’t short short. I am taller than my mum and my dad by about one or two inches. But my older brothers are 6ft4in and 6ft2in respectively and my younger sibling is 5ft9in. It is just embarrasing. And my best friend who is a girl is also an inch taller than me. Most of my male friends are taller than me. I know girls who are three or even more inches taller than me. I feel so inadequate stood next to any of them because I’m the short fat one and that is all I will ever be.

When I was a child everyone thought I would be the tall one. I was tall as a kid. I don’t know what went wrong.

Well, obviously female puberty. But apart from that. I should have been tall. But then I stopped growing and then the midget younger sibling had a huge growth spurt despite them eating next to nothing and now I am the midget.

I have had bone density scans for when they were starting me on the hormone blockers and they confirmed that yes indeedy my growth plates have fused. I knew that but that made it real that I’m always going to be the midget and it just ugh. I hate it.

Why couldn’t god/nature/whatever have blessed me with being like 6ft or something. If he was gonna give me the stress of having the wrong body why couldn’t he at least make me tall. Or couldn’t he have made the adults listen to me sooner or got me on hormone blockers before my growth plates fused so I had a chance to be taller Seriously I have so much medical shit to deal with and he couldn’t even make me tall or handsome or be born with a make fucking body.

I feel super ungrateful because I know a lot of people have it much worse. I know a lot of trans guys are much shorter than I am. I just ugh.


4 thoughts on “I hate my height

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